There seems to be something inherent in human beings that makes them relatively unhappy in their middle years. Researchers analyzed data from people all around the world and found a common pattern of greater happiness in youth and old age and less happiness in midlife. The pattern appears in data on people in 72 different countries and is consistent across a surprising range of people: rich, poor, childless, with children, male, female, single, married. There is one noticeable difference in the way people are affected: Men and women in England go through their lowest point emotionally at around the same age, but there’s a ten-year difference between men and women in the US (women bottom out around 40 and men around 50). So maybe some factor or factors unknown can influence the timing, but the middle-age slough of despond seems otherwise invariant.
So far, no one knows what it means or why it happens. I like the quote in this press release from a researcher who says that just knowing that it happens and that it’s just a phase could be comforting. (Physically fit 70-year-olds are on average as happy and mentally healthy as a 20-year-old, so there’s something to look forward to.)
I’m wondering if this has to do with the way the future often seems narrower but deeper after a certain point. You’re old enough to realize you have to let go of some of your dreams because they will never happen. The wave function of possibilities you moved in as a young adult has started to collapse because out of all the possibilities, you’ve made choices that have inevitably excluded other choices. There’s definitely a sense of loss involved in watching your horizons narrow, but once you get over that, you have more energy to channel into the things you’ve chosen, and with any luck, some of them will bloom for you. And maybe the process of getting over it is a necessary part of learning how to be happier with life and with yourself.
That is a wonderful use of the wavefunction metaphor, and it rings true. So true that your words should be immortalized.
As a baby boomer, I’m not a fan of the “Declining Energy Model” characterized by powerlessness, emptiness, infirmity, depression and fear of death in the middle years and beyond. According to this model, all capacities decline – creativity, cognition, sexuality/intimacy, self-reliance, sense of control of one’s life, and physical fitness.
I relate much more the “Rising Energy Model of Aging,” characterized by renewal, rebirth, regeneration and revitalization. I look at my life at age 61 as having bonus years before me, where I have the opportunity to develop myself in many areas – emotionally, spiritually, physically, creatively; developing a deeper connection to myself, others and the world; focusing on contributing to others; having a renewed sense of play; taking on new work projects, particularly through volunteering and working with not-for-profit organizations.
Frank